Electric youth

Back when I was a pre-teen, I used to despise wedding and baby showers. Not because I disliked holy matrimony or slobbery babies, but because I was dragged to a an adult event during non-school, supposed-to-be-fun, me-time—Like when watching Saved by the Bell. Hanging out with old people was definitely the last priority on my self-centered pre-pubescent to-do list, and I always had to put on a lacy, flowery dress for the occasion.

Think Fashion Bug. We're talking late 80's here, folks. Forever 21 had yet to make dresses cool.

And then there was the weird food. "Appetizer" was not part of my general vocabulary at the time, and I definitely didn't see anything around that resembled Friday's loaded potato skins. Did they forget that my mom RSVP'ed for one child? ...Or, wait, I don't think people RSVP'ed back then. You just showed up. Or you didn't. They just made enough food for the entire neighborhood.

Diaper cake at my Cousin Jenny's baby shower - How did I not think this was adorable at age 12?

And then there were the nauseating adult-themed games. Like I'm supposed to know the average contents of a 30-year-old woman's purse? Ewe, I'd rather not know. They carry, like, period stuff around.

At one baby shower, I was crowned winner of a game I didn't even know I was playing. We all had to look at the bottom of our plates, and if there was a rubber ducky sticker, we won. Well, I won, and I was given a rose-scented Crabtree & Evelyn gift pack with lotion and little mauve soaps. The grandma scent definitely would never get me to hand-holding level on the playground. Couldn't they have at least sprung for a little vile of Debbie Gibson's signature spritz? Throw me a bone here, ladies!

Fast forward 20 plus years, and I get so excited for baby and wedding showers that I could just pee my pants. In front of people. Getting that free pass to stuff your face with amazing hors d'oeuvres and fancy drinks, watch someone open gifts you surely will have to comment on ("Oh, those big packs of diaper/burp cloths are fantastic, you will wash at least 30 of those a week!" or "I saw that glass bowl at Crate & Barrel, it is to DIE for!") and play games you know you can win (fo shizzle, this lady can recall what every candy bar looks like melted in a diaper).

Unlike my sis-in-law, I did not have "Shake Weight" on my wedding registry.

And personally, as a boring mom, I love the excuse to get dressed up on a random Saturday afternoon and have photos taken with friends or family. These are my prime hours, baby—noon to 4pm. I have the most energy, and I can play the speedy version of catch-up-on-the-past-six-months-that-I-haven't-seen-you with the best of 'em. While downing a glass of wine, three chocolate cupcakes and a heaping helping of spinach dip. And hummus. And queso.

Awe - With our Grandma Alma at Aunt JJ's wedding shower.

"Who wants to write down the gifts?" Oh, me, me, me, me, me! Yesssss...Front row view, and I get to touch every new item. ...If I lick one, do I get to keep it for myself?

You'd think I was medicated. But really, I'm just high on adult me-time.