I’m about to start a new job. I’ll still be working downtown, and I’ll still be doing pretty much the same thing I am now. But regardless of this comfort zone, I couldn’t be more scared.
What will people think of me? What if they think I’m a horrible writer? What if I show up three hours late on my first day, naked and with nothing else but Roxy on a leash?
I’ve had this dream; multiple times. And each time the crowd laughing at me grows larger and larger, and inevitably someone’s wearing a panda suit.
All this fear aside, I am looking forward to the one grand opportunity that comes along with beginning something new, with starting fresh—the opportunity to reinvent oneself.
Now I don’t mean showing up with black hair and a pierced lip. What I’m eager for is the chance for people to get to know me as who I am right now, today. Without the baggage that eventually piles on at any job. Because you soon become known only by your office interactions and relationships built while with that business. Not that this is a bad thing, but starting over somewhere else immediately changes the playing field. It changes who you are as a player. No one knows you from Eve. And to me that is exciting.
I can be the legal marketing equivalent to Maria Sharapova. Without the Pantene-perfect hair.
Ok, I may be pushing it. But at least no one has to know right away that I'm horribly incoherent in the morning, or that I despise OSU athletics, or that I enjoy potty humor. That can all wait until I have them hooked.
In the meantime, I will show up at the new job with a clean slate, industry perspective, thick(er) skin and a wide smile and start to apply anew what the past 10 years of professional work (or maybe 5th grade) has taught me: Stay close to just a few people, avoid the rumor mill at all costs and treat everyone with the respect you hope to receive in return.
I’ll let you know if I make it past lunch.