This gal learned a little in 2011

OK, strike that—I've learned a helluva a lot this year. Like when I was actually in school again for a few months. And when I had to buck up and learn how to raise an ornery 1-year-old, and decided to switch jobs, and thought it would be fun to put our house on the market for cow plop and chuckles. 

So what exactly did the fabulous year of 2011—my 32^nd year of life—teach me amongst all this chaotic silliness?

1. Don't move around your bedroom furniture by yourself on the first morning of your staycation. Because when you go to bend over and pick up your kid that evening, you'll throw out your back and then pass out at 4am in the kitchen from the pain, landing you in the ER on day #2 of staycation. Staycation ruined.

2. When traveling abroad, turn off your phone and never, ever turn it back on until you are safely back in the US of A, unless you call prior and get on an international plan. Within five minutes of playing on Facebook, I was charged over $50 by our fine friends at Verizon. And believe you me, my roaming was turned off.

3. When traveling abroad, "all-inclusive" does not always apply to the resort's top-shelf alcohol. Oh they will make you think it does, but later a nice lad will bring you a bill for a $108 bottle of craptastically gritty Mexican wine as a night cap. And of course at that point they don't understand a lick of English. ¡qué fastidio!

4. Dog's have a cute way of forewarning you when they are sick. Well, at least their bodily functions do. If your dog's flatulence is surprisingly debilitating for your family for a few days straight, chances are something not-so-pretty is going to happen. So put the pup in a cage or keep her outside until she erupts. You can thank me later.

5. If your kid doesn't like sugar, don’t push it on them at their first birthday party. We all want the cute photo of them diving into the cake and making a huge mess, but the mess they will leave you in the crib at 2 am is just not worth it.

6. If you are given a chance to get back to Athens, Ohio—do like Sir Mix-A-Lot says and jump on it! We traveled to OU for both my sister-in-law's graduation and a friend's wedding, and felt 10 years younger, instantly. Pub, Junction, Pawpurr's—then some sweet D.P. Dough. Oh, oh, yes please.

7. Planning a 10-year college reunion with girlfriends in Vegas is the Best. Idea. Ever. Screaming out Jersey Shore quotes while drinking on the strip? ...Well, that may not be.

8. Now this is a super-duper important one (ladies). Save the food section at Target for last. If you are anything like me, most Target trips take at least 1.5 hours. Thus, if you put a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie in your cart at oh, say 8:15 pm, by about 9:30 you've got quite the little mess for yourself in the shoe section.

9. No matter how much I try to be a loyal fan, my Ohio sports teams will always disappoint. Except when their players complete front-flips into the end zone.

10. Just as soon as I think Mac has a well-fitting (enough) wardrobe to get him by on weekends and at daycare for a few months, his pants all go Pee Wee Herman Harman on him.

And that's about all I've learned. Plus 1,534,968 other things. But that's the great thing about us human being peeps—we never stop learning. And I will never stop learning to make fun of my dorky self along the way.

Happy New Year 2012, friends! I'll see you on the flip side.

Brown paper packages tied up with strings

Yep, you smarty pants guessed it. I'm here to share a few of my favorite things. Well, for this festive season, anyway. Because could there be a better way to jump back into blogging than to bore you all with the junk I heart? ... Didn't think so!

So here I am. Back again like Slim Shady. I'd love to say I've been MIA because I was chosen for some fantastic reality TV series that I was flown to Maui to film. Or that I won the lottery and had to figure out how to divvy up the money. (Your check is in the mail, trust me). But in lame fact, I had just been lost in a nightmare of graduate study homework and continuous home-showing cleaning (yup, it's still for sale - bummer). So, I've decided to catch a breather, gear up for the holidays and share some of the great finds, fun decorations and silly purchases we've made this season. Some simply for the exclusive fact that they will make our son smile. ...Such as these fancy Elmo PJ's for Brian.

Real nice, Clark. And just $17 at my favorite late-night hangout, Target. "Elbow" is Mac's main squeeze right now. And look - they indeed made him smile! ...And even drool a little. That's amore.

So I thought it would be funny to tease Roxy with something soft and feathery, just far enough out of reach for her to contemplate pouncing each day. Thus, this purchase of a $3.95 ornament was made @ Kohl's. PLUS I had a 20% off coupon. I could have made this myself, but I'm lazy and can't imagine I would have spent less than $4. And as of today, it is still intact.

Since I have not used some of my typically birthday-only trimmings, I matched some teal ribbon with pink and red paper, and found a new love affair. This one is for Aunt Lulu, from H&M. She picked it out; I want to steal. Should have let you see it before wrapping! 

Outside lights shout, "I swear I'm no scrooge!" no matter how many times your neighbors hear you yelling at the dog. Or your husband. Or your child. Or your old computer. And I love the candy cane feel of both white and red lights. Notice I'm too lazy to place lights anywhere above waist-level.

Old-school ornament. Or at least from when I was in college. Super sad that this reminds me I joined a sorority in 1997. I'm ancient, yo. Can I get a nice round of "A-oh, A-oh, the only way to go!" please? Word to your sista.

And since we're reminiscing, might as well add in a shot of one of the most awesome gifts Brian and I have ever received. Nearly makes me tear up. Who doesn't want an illuminated glass block that is a constant reminder of only the BEST days of your life?

OK, so to round things out, here's my own take of "Brown paper packages tied up with strings." I shared this on FacePlace last week, but it's just too cute to not repost here. It's fun and wintry without being too overtly Christmasy. I likey a lotty.

Owl paper found at World Market; Ribbon at Old Time Pottery. I'm down with OTP, yeah you know me.

So I lied. One final photo then I promise I'm done. I think this may be my most favorite thing. ...Our mini-maid, cleaning the floor with his wipes. Only my child.